I've Been asking myself the Same Questions!!!!!!!!

The lights are dimmed, the fire is blazing in the big old fireplace, your favourite tunes are on in the background, and I'm just about to pour you a big glass of red!!! Let's settle down on the big old leather sofa and have a chat!!
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Rob
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I've Been asking myself the Same Questions!!!!!!!!

Post by Rob »

Found these, and thought they were worth a post!!!

Questions of human stupidity:

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins"?

...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?

...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

...why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
The perfect white lie..."Of course I didn't pay that much for the fish honey"
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McEve
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Post by McEve »

... Why do people press harder on a remote control when they know the
batteries are getting weak?

... Why do banks charge a fee on insufficient funds when they already
know you're broke?

... Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, yet double-check when you say the paint is wet?

... Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

... Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection (and along those same lines, why won't any state execute a person who is ill?

... Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

... Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

... Whose idea was it to put an 's' in the word lisp?

... If people evolved from apes, how come there are still apes?

... Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?

... Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?

... Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and put it down, and
give the vacuum one more chance?

... Why won't a plastic bag ever open from the first end you try?

... How do those dead bugs get inside an enclosed light fixture?

... How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
INXS
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Post by INXS »

ROTFLOL
I just did the string thing - picked it up and gave the vaccum another chance.

- why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

- why does bleach have a sealed bottleneck ? ( are you going to throw dirt in it?)
Mindy
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Post by Mindy »

If a mime falls in an empty forest, does it make a sound?
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